Holly Petraeus, the accomplished and ‘furious’ wife of David Petraeus

Posted on November 13, 2012 By Global Post Politics

Holly Petraeus

In this Dec. 6, 2011 file photo, Holly Petraeus, Assistant Director for the Office of Servicemember Affairs, and wife of Gen. David Petraeus, speaks during a news conference on Camp Lejeune, in Jacksonville, N.C. (AP Photo/The Jacskonville Daily News, John Althouse)

Holly Petraeus, wife of former CIA director David Petraeus, has many accomplishments in her own right.

It may be an awkward time to bring this up, but when Paula Broadwell was working on a biography about the man she was sleeping with, she found his wife to be really helpful with the research. That’s nice?

During a discussion about her biography on former CIA director David Petraeus in February, Broadwell apparently said of his wife: “Holly has been a wonderful source of information for this research as well,” according to The Oklahoman. Holly probably isn’t flattered. A former spokesman for David Petraeus told ABC News that Holly Petraeus is currently furious at her husband for his affair with Broadwell.

“Well, as you can imagine, she’s not exactly pleased right now,” retired U.S. Army Col. Steve Boylan told ABC. “Furious would be an understatement.”

But it’s not fair to see Holly Petraeus in the limited view of “angry wife” that plagues so many victims of famous affairs. She has an interesting life story and has achieved many accomplishments in her own right.

Holly Petraeus long history in political activism

Davis and Holly Petraeus

In this Aug. 31, 2011 file photo, former Commander of International Security Assistance Force and U.S. Forces-Afghanistan Gen. Davis Petraeus, standing with his wife Holly, participates in an armed forces farewell tribute and retirement ceremony at Joint Base Myer-Henderson Hall in Arlington, Va. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)

In a profile of Holly Petraeus published in March, USA Today reported on her long history of political activism and military support. In 2004, she greeted all 18,000 members of the U.S. Army’s 101st Airborne Division after they flew back from Iraq. “She really cared for those boys,” Ed Rufo, a local military booster, told USA Today. “They called her a hangar rat.”

But Holly Petraeus was more than just a sweet mom stand-in to the troops. She also has a history of consumer advocacy. She headed the Better Business Bureau’s unit for the military, and in 2003 boldly testified before the U.S. Senate that the “unrelenting pace of deployment” was hurting military families, according to USA Today. Last year, Elizabeth Warren took notice of her advocacy and appointed Petraeus to head the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s Office of Servicemember Affairs.

Most recently, she testified before Congress on how the housing crisis was hurting military families, according to The Washington Times.

Holly Petraeus grew up with the military in her blood. Her brother, father, grandfather, great-grandfather and great-great-grandfather had all enlisted, The Daily Beast reported. And last year it was revealed that the Petraeus’ son had quietly served two tours in Afghanistan as well.

Petraeus said that it was her and David’s trouble controlling their spending during their newlywed days that inspired her to dive into the financial advocacy world. In another favorable profile of Holly (this one published in 2011 on NPR), a colleague described her loving yet tough personality: “She’s Mom, apple pie, and also a pit bull.”

Meanwhile, husband David Petraeus, the retired Army general who resigned as CIA director last week after admitting to being unfaithful, “deeply regrets and knows how much pain this has caused his family,” his ex-spokesman told ABC.

 

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  • gasoline alley

    I hope someone gets holly a makeover she deserves it after putting up with her other halfs misadventures, does he see how foolish he was, Holly take him back and get him a mental make over (counseling), you two have been together an awfully long time, and hopefully you are now in the drivers seat!!!!!!

    • Armywife

      Holly, get the makeover if you want to but leave General Patreaus. Get someone who loves you the way you are. Thanks for helping everyone so much throughout your life. You are wonderful the way you are. Too bad David is a shallow person.

  • Dutch Frogg

    It is always too bad when a spouse in a long-lasting relationship “tips.” In my experience, it is most often the husband and, generally, trying to disguise [to himself] that he’s getting older. Between leaving his responsible and very active service position and looking in the mirror at a 60 year old man when he rises for work in the morning, a fling with a reasonably attractive 40 year old woman [who was doubtless stroking his ego in the process of getting material for her book] probably looked pretty good. My heart goes out to all four who were damaged: the foolish “lovers” and the two wronged spouses.

  • calla lily

    I agree about Holly Patraeus needing a makeover. Sorry, I know this sounds shallow, because the woman has done wonderful work for a really important cause. I commend her for that. And even if she was a stylish glamorous woman it may not have stopped her husband’s affair. But the old stodgy look she has just says, “I don’t care about my appearance. I’ve got no sex appeal, and I don’t care.” Maybe that is defensible in certain environments, but now I think she should reevaluate her image. Don’t hate me. Just call in the stylists and let’s see what might be possible.

    • Armywife

      How about the General? The only thing “sexy” about him is 4-stars and he is head of the CIA. He’s short with a toothy goofy grin and his skin is sagging all over his face, and probably elsewhere too. He’s not winning any GQ contests. Quit blaming Mrs. Patreaus for “letting herself go”. Do 60 year old ladies have to worry about sex appeal? How sexist is that??? I’m sure that when Mrs. P was 40, that Mr. P wasn’t trying to get his line greased at another garage….

      • x1134x

        Women aren’t attracted to looks like men are. We have different criteria. Men are polygamous. They want to spread their seed with the most amount of attractive women that they can. Women are hypergamous, they want to breed with the most powerful man they can. Men looking for attractive women ensures healthy offspring. Women looking for powerful men ensures protected offspring. Its just our cave-man nature that we haven’t had enough generations to breed out of. in the US 8 to 10 percent of children are being raised by a father that is not their biological father and without their knowledge.

    • Rachel

      I am a married woman and have to say that I agree with you. Having an affair is WRONG, period, but I certainly can’t blame her husband for desiring other women. It’s not about her features, whether she is beautiful or not is irrelevant. The woman he had a affair with is not beautiful, but at least she looks feminine. His wife is repelling. Sorry, but true.

    • Kate

      That is everything that’s wrong with this looks obsessed world. All the wonderful work this woman has done means nothing if she doesn’t look a certain way, or a way that you deem to acceptable. A make over would solve everything right. How about he get a moral make over. What an absolute shame.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Wesker/100001692562133 Albert Wesker

        “That is everything that’s wrong with this looks obsessed world.”

        Agree with it or not, but it’s in our biology. Physical attractiveness is a major factor in nearly every species (size, colors, etc.).

        On a side note, Kate, what are the chances you would date and marry a very unattractive man? I have a good idea I know the answer to that one…

        • BelleDuJour

          Petraeus is hardly a good looking man – especially when compared to Paula Broadwell’s husband – and Broadwell’s 43 year old husband no doubt is more potent than Petraeus the prostate cancer patient. Attractiveness isn’t everything.

    • Matthew Schumm

      Yeah, that’s an incredibly shallow comment. If she’s a good person, it shouldn’t matter whether she has “sex appeal”.

      • Klau

        We want to have sex with good looking persons, not with Mother Theresa, it is a fact of life

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Wesker/100001692562133 Albert Wesker

        Yeah…except that would only exist in a perfect world. You’d either be living in denial or a dream world to suggest that physical attractiveness doesn’t play a major role in most relationships (there are exceptions, of course, but they aren’t the rule. I commend you if you truly have little regard for your mate’s looks, but I doubt that’s the honest truth).

        • BelleDuJour

          I don’t think Paula Broadwell was motivated by Petraeus’ looks. Her husband is way hotter than Petraeus. Just sayin’

          • x1134x

            MEN are motivated by looks. Women are motivated by social status, and power.

          • BelleDuJour

            When Petraeus married Holly, she was the daughter of a general who was the commander at West Point and Petraeus was a lowly and ugly cadet who her father assisted in his rise to power.

          • x1134x

            Which makes him the hand-picked “golden boy”.

  • davia55

    You people are sic. This has nothing to do with Holly needing a makeover. You should be ashamed of yourselves! I think this is a personal family matter, and should remain that way. Infidelity is more common than you can imagine, and many people don’t get caught. Guess what! It might be happening in your own relationships, so be careful what you say

    • Armywife

      Agree. Agree. Agree.

      • Pam Blackwell

        Sad to say, I have to disagree in part. Holly is not that old and can still look gorgeous. I’d say that would give her the biggest boost to her self esteem and protection going forward in her marriage. Further, she could give her husband a run for his money.

        • Armywife

          And you think David looks “gorgeous”? Double standard.

          • Pam Blackwell

            You’re missing my point completely. I did not say he looked “gorgeous” nor did I imply it. I’m saying if Holly became gorgeous, maybe she’d attract suitors and give him a run for his money. No double standard there!

          • x1134x

            Different standards. Women are attracted to social status, money and power, because it ensures protected and nurished offspring. Men are the ones attracted to looks, ensuring healthy DNA for offspring.

          • BelleDuJour

            Physical attractiveness is no guarantee of good health. I’d like to introduce you to several attractive young women I know with MS, lupus, and cancer.

          • x1134x

            I’m sure I’d find them unattractive.

        • BelleDuJour

          This is a fallacy. He most likely engaged in the affair to prove his virility after prostate cancer treatment which frequently renders men impotent. He attempted to “prove himself” with an unstable woman who is married to a man who is infinitely more attractive than Petraeus.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Wesker/100001692562133 Albert Wesker

            …yeah…or maybe an attractive woman was just hitting on him and he gave into lust. I suspect that’s the more likely reason..

          • BelleDuJour

            I am not sure he could have even consummated their relationship due to the side effects of prostate cancer treatment.

          • Pam Blackwell

            This is a very interesting comment. There is a possibility, albeit remote, that it never happened.

          • x1134x

            Physical attractiveness is not what does it for women. For women its power, money and social status, which patreus had much more of.

          • BelleDuJour

            Actually when Petraeus met Holly, she had greater wealth and status than he did. She was the daughter of the commander of West Point, and he was a lowly and ugly cadet. Holly’s father was the one responsible for Petraeus’ rise to power.

          • x1134x

            Not talking about holly, talking about paula, and her husbands looks compared to patreus.

    • jen

      Holly is good enough as she is..in fact, she is amazing. A well deserved vacation alone would be in order and no one would blame her. I would be tempted to go into hiding but she probably won’t because she has a life, a purpose and commitments and integrity. That is what makes her incredible and beautiful. Fuck the makeover and hold your head up high.

  • Rachel

    It’s ridiculous to blame his wife for his affair because of her matronly looks, HOWEVER, his wife does look like she could be his mother. As a married woman, she has a responsibility to keep herself attractive for her mate and she clearly does not care about that.

    • BelleDuJour

      General Petraeus is most likely impotent secondary to his prostate cancer treatment. He also is not exactly Channing Tatum …What is he doing about that?

      • Slimrael

        He’s been running the entire f*ucking military and U.S. intelligence operation is what he’s been doing about that. The most powerful in the world I might add. If that doesn’t weaken knees a little bit I don’t know what does.

        • BelleDuJour

          Maybe he should have spent more time doing his job and less time chasing Paula – he would not be in this predicament

    • JennaJ

      What a shameless, vane and ignorant comment by Rachel!

    • aiyanab

      You make a good point. Both men and women in relationships need to do
      their part in keeping themselves up. But there is a double standard with
      aging women and men. Women age and are forgotten, just look at
      Hollywood. Men become more desirable as they get older and are often
      seen with a much younger partner, and it’s acceptable. ( Despite Demi
      Moore’s efforts, women dating younger men is still taboo). I think there
      was something deeper that was lost in the relationship that goes beyond
      looks. From the divorced people I know, there were problems long before
      cheating came into play.

  • Pam Blackwell

    If I were Holly Petraeus, I would consider this affair a wake up a call and take action.
    I would:
    1. Get on the elliptical machine daily.
    2. Hire a trainer and get on an exercise and healthy food regimen
    3.Go to George of the Four Seasons in DC (or another top hairstylist) and get a plan
    for my hair cut and color and implement it how he suggests. Get a French manicure while you’re there.
    4. Find a great makeup artist and implement a plan for day and evening makeup

    5. Hire an image consultant to do a complete wardrobe redesign. You can make some
    immediate impacting changes and then more as you see the results from the work out plan . Even conservative clothes manufacturers like Talbots have great looking, eye catching outfits.

    I would implement all five steps immediately – you can afford to do it. When your
    confidence rises up, which it will from taking these steps, I would hire a PR
    group, and have them release an article like “The NEW HOLLY PETRAEUS -WHAT
    I’VE LEARNED AND HOW I’VE REIGNITED/SAVED MY MARRIAGE.”

    For all his travels and for all of 37 years, if General Petraeus only slipped up once,
    you’re a pretty lucky woman. If I were you, I’d turn my anger into
    determination to keep my man and reignite our romance.

    PS I know it’s easier said than done – it’s just that you’re not that old – a lot of
    women your age look gorgeous. It’s just a question of belief, desire and
    diligence. I know deep down you have all of this.

    • Lars J.

      I don’t want to be around on the day you get cancer. Too late you will see what an empty shell of a life you’ve lived, what a meaningless existence you had, and what a superficial view of this life you had. Conditional love. That is all you’ve ever known and all you can understand. How sad. How empty.

      • Pam Blackwell

        You wish me “cancer” because I offer my opinion? I think this an abusive comment and should be taken down immediately by Voxxi.

        • Pam Blackwell

          I have a ton of depth and soul and I want Holly Petraeus to be happy, which is why I offered the suggestions. If her appearance were better, she might attract someone else and have options for her personal life. That was my point. This idiot Lars obviously missed it.

        • JuanitaGalindo

          Lars, your comment was deleted because of inappropriate content. We encourage open discussions and all views, but we do not allow offensive comments.

  • Armywife

    All of you who say it’s because Holly “let herself go”….what then made Bill Clinton get oral sex from his intern in his office? Was it because Hillary “let herself go?” And as for how a woman looks at 60 years of age… I guess that you all think that Hillary is HOT, she’s 65… If Bill has another affair will you blame Hillary’s appearance?

    • x1134x

      Yes, it was. Sexually satisfied men don’t cheat.

      • BelleDuJour

        Untrue. Sex addicts cheat on their spouses even when they are sexually satisfied with their marital partners.

        • x1134x

          Your statement contradicts itself. If they were truly satisfied, they wouldn’t be looking for satisfaction elsewhere.

          • BelleDuJour

            Sex addicts are NEVER SATISFIED and they crave novel partners even if their primary relationship is meeting their needs. There is no contradiction, you are unfamiliar with sex addiction.

          • x1134x

            I think you need to grab a dictionary and look up satisfied. It means your needs are being met. If they aren’t satisified, then their needs are NOT being met.

          • BelleDuJour

            No contradiction there. Even when a sex addict finds satisfaction with their primary partner, they will seek new partners in a quest for a novel conquest.

          • x1134x

            Thus proving that they weren’t satisfied.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ally.sinclair.397 Ally Sinclair

    A make over? I’m horrified to read this. Holly Petraeus has done endless work for families, truly good work and your concerned about how she looks, blaming her for her husbands infidelity because she let herself go? Shame on you. She is an inspiration, not because of some surface level good looks that the roll of the genetic dice gave her, but her diligent service to our military families. Now that’s true beauty.

    • Pam Blackwell

      I’m saying it would be the best boost for her self esteem right now. To heck with him -

      • Pam Blackwell

        No shame here – I want to see Holly happy and I gave a viable solution.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ally.sinclair.397 Ally Sinclair

        Self esteem comes from somewhere other than the surface or a day spa.

        • Pam Blackwell

          Ally, you look like a very attractive person yourself, so while I agree that self esteem “comes from somewhere other than the surface,” the point is self esteem is created by a number of beliefs, deeds and actions. Since you are obviously taking actions to keep up your appearance, it may not even occur to you that physical health and appearance are subconsciously part of that self esteem.

          I’ve got several degrees and have professional and community and volunteer accomplishments, and I least try to do the right thing by people.
          There’s also been times when I’ve needed to lose a few pounds and get highlights, a new look, etc. and there’s been times when people tell me I look great (after I’ve lost the pounds and gotten the highlights). I can honestly say to you my self esteem is greatly improved when my appearance is improved. It is definitely not the only component that matters, but it definitely contributes to inner self worth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-Wesker/100001692562133 Albert Wesker

      Ally:

      1) The comments about the makeover are completely irrelevant to the service she has done in her lifetime. I doubt anyone denies that what she has accomplished is amazing, honorable, and just all-around good as a human being. However, that doesn’t mean that one can’t criticize her looks. Just sayin..

      That said, how unattractive is your boyfriend (if you have one)? Did you find him only by his “true beauty”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003549576418 Andrew Smith

    Wow, Holly really let herself go. How selfish. Petraeus had little choice.

    • Matthew Schumm

      Selfish? The selfish one was Petraeus for betraying his life partners’ trust for the sake of sexual gratification.

    • BelleDuJour

      Wow, maybe Holly should have left her husband when he was rendered impotent by treatment for prostate cancer in 2009… What would people have said of her if she had an affair then or left her husband due to his impotence ? No doubt she would have been labeled as insensitive and cruel if she left her impotent husband, but when a 60 yr old unattractive and impotent man cheats on his 60 yr. old loyal wife with a 30 something year old woman, it’s all ok.

  • Cali

    I am 40 years old and most people think I am a very attractive woman. Personally I think David Petraeus is very handsome (except he could use braces) and he looks very fit. His hard work and ambition is also very attractive. I can completely understand the attraction. He is way better looking than his wife Holly. Find me one man who thinks she is attractive. He has spent a lot of time working out/ running and she obviously does not. I think his affair was wrong, but I think he should have left his wife a long time ago. It makes me angry when I see women selfishly letting themselves go and then expecting their man to stay with them. This goes the other way as well, if a woman keeps herself looking nice and her husband lets himself go, then she should leave him. It can be very traumatic and painful to be in a relationship with someone you don’t find attractive. Appearance is more important than other pursuits when it comes to a relationship. It is a service to take care of yourself for your partner and for yourself. I believe that if she had done this David would have been less likely to betray her, but even if he had she would have other prospects if she had kept herself up. Right now, she probably has none and can look forward to a lifetime of loneliness. All of her public service will not love her back.

    • BelleDuJour

      Not only is Petraeus unattractive, he is most likely impotent secondary to prostate cancer treatment. Poor Holly.

      • x1134x

        Yes, leader of the most powerful intelligence organization in the world is unattractive to women. NOT. Women only give about 20% consideration to looks, whereas men give about 95%.

        • BelleDuJour

          Actually women are most attracted to men with whom they have an emotional connection.

          • x1134x

            Cart before horse. You build emotional connections with people you interact with, and you pursue building those with men you’re attracted to.

  • Andy

    It’s unfair and now we are seeing the results. What’s unfair? For years David has obviously worked out and had sufficient discipline to skip that 2nd helping of pie. And for years, Holly has skipped the workout and had a 3rd helping of pie. Feels good while you’re eating it but there is a price to pay.

    And so the gap between the two widen. A decade passes by. Two decades. He turns into a lean, handsome senior citizen while she sinks into the comfortable warm bath of not caring.

    • BelleDuJour

      He isn’t handsome but he is lean. Even if she had skipped the pie and worked out, it would not have changed the fact that the General has been impotent since 2009 as a result of prostate cancer treatment. Despite his impotence, she stood by him. This is the reward for her loyalty.

      • Slimraeli

        Um, if he was impotent how did he bone the mistress? Methinks your premise is flawed.

        • BelleDuJour

          Reports of “boning” by prostate cancer patients are often highly exaggerated- their sexual functioning is usually poor if they are even able to achieve an erection.

    • http://twitter.com/devorahf devorahf

      As someone who developed a thyroid issue at 40 and have learned to control it naturally, I can tell you it isn’t always pie that causes that extra 20+ lbs. Don ‘t be a jerk. Could she have done more to show she cares for herself, sure, but she’s also from a time where women AND men did that as they got older. It was just expected that you’d accept the eventual loss of your sex appeal.

  • Beauty is on the Inside

    If she does get a makeover, the first thing she should do after is dump his ass. Actually, she should do that anyways. It is sad people are so obsessed by looks. Ridiculous!

  • Zozza

    I’m sorry, but Petraeus’ wife is so ugly he could not help but bang another woman.

    • BelleDuJour

      And Peteaeus has such severe ED after treatment for prostate cancer that I doubt he “banged” anyone.

  • ecurb

    Just want to say that if were gonna bash the poor woman’s looks i just want to point out that David Petraeus is 10 times uglier than her, he is butt hideous! lol double standards what ever just fluff news to cover whats really going on anyway.

  • divler

    she looks like a lesbian nun…..who could blame the guy

  • divler

    she looks like a lesbian nun…..who could blame the guy

  • YaValioCacaWates

    When is Jill having the big next party? I bet all the generals know when.

  • YaValioCacaWates

    When is Jill having the big next party? I bet all the generals know when.

  • bjt

    Love is an action verb and a choice. The General acted against love when he started lying to his wife. Holly has a fine balance to maintain in how she looks since she represents the military. Looking like a sex goddess does not influence her peers to trust her around their husbands or be an integral part of their world of influence. Also, because of her husbands deployments you know she was internalizing a lot of the male role. How do the other women whose husbands are in the military and are her age look? She needs to fit in well with them for her own well being and support. She would not be excused from embezzling or stealing because her husband didnt make enough money or wasnt powerful enough.

  • Corey

    It was wrong of him to cheat on her. Period. And, I think it’s also fair to suggest that it wouldn’t hurt if she at least PRETENDED to care about how she presents herself. NO ONE is attracted to frumpiness. Good day!

  • http://www.facebook.com/keating.willcox Keating Willcox

    First, both the General and Paula were superfit, and enjoyed the common workouts. So, each was not only attractive, and both are, but they were both very fit and attracted to this extreme fitness. This may be something that really worked on the General. I don’t forgive him, but many people in power find themselves overwhelmed by temptation, and often stray.
    Second, were I Holly, I would only take the General back if he was willing to give up…everything…if he ever slipped up again….and he should accept these terms as part of his re-commitment to the relationship.
    Third, I would suggest His Needs, Her Needs to them, so that they can negotiate what is really important in their lives together. And throw in a copy of Spouseonomics. These two books are massive help.
    Fourth, rather than just try to get fit, Holly might find more success if she tries to invigorate their sensual life, maybe spend more energy cuddling and other activities, rather than feed his weakness, a taste for the ultrafit, a battle she most likely can’t win.
    Fifth, I never see church or a spiritual life mentioned. Their ability to forgive each other will be largely developed by their own sense of being forgiven by the only being who do so. I’ll bet she goes, and he is most likely Greek orthodox(?) so maybe they need to get that part of their life re-invigorated. They should find a community of people who so value marriage that they can also forgive the general and hope for a better future.